When many mothers become mothers for the first time, there will always be many places to learn and adapt again.
For example, the important time of puerperium is a great challenge for every family. The appearance of the baby will bring about a turning point both physically and psychologically for the mother and father.
Therefore, many mothers began to ask each other at this time: Do you want to sleep in separate rooms with your husband during the puerperium?
– 01 –
//Sleep in separate rooms//
Generally speaking, in the puerperal period, if there are elderly people, nannies or sister-in-law at home to take care of the baby, it will be more convenient to take care of the baby during the day or night.
In addition, if it is the first child, two people have no experience in taking care of the baby. If someone else takes care of the baby, he can sleep well and not affect his work in the daytime, which is also killing two birds with one stone.
This is probably the most important reason why most people choose to sleep in separate rooms.
//Sleep in different rooms//
Because it is not easy for a woman to conceive in October, and if her mother-in-law or sister-in-law comes to help with the baby, it is inevitable that she will have some different opinions or conflicts with the sister-in-law or her mother-in-law during the month.
And if my father chooses to sleep in separate rooms because he has to work during the day, the communication between husband and wife will be less and less.
Moreover, if the husband did not participate in the process of raising children at this time, he would not realize the difficulties of the mother.
– 02 –
Many mothers around Lema will choose to sleep in separate rooms after childbirth. Although it will be beneficial to the couple in a short time, it may also affect their feelings over time.
A friend and her husband decided to have a love relationship in junior high school. Before they had children, their daily life was so sweet that they abused dogs. During pregnancy, my friend also showed the picture of her husband pinching her feet and massaging her calves.
However, when the baby is born, it is the legendary high demand baby. It needs to get up and cry several times a night. Each time, it needs to be held and coaxed to sleep.
After a week, not only friends were haggard, but also their husbands. He works in a game company. His work intensity is very high. It’s even harder to be bothered by children.
The friend felt sorry for her husband, but also felt guilty that she had quit her job before pregnancy, which added more pressure to her husband, so she asked him to sleep in a room by himself. Wa’er took it with her at night. At the beginning, my husband felt embarrassed, but he still tried to make excuses. As a result, he couldn’t bear the noise of the children at night. He was so excited that he simply moved to another room to sleep.
At first, my husband would tease the child, talk to her, and sleep in another room. But because the child is noisy every night and does not kiss him, he gradually loses interest. Sometimes he goes back to his room to play games after supper. My friends feel that their relationship is becoming more and more strange. My husband only interacts with the children when he comes home, and hardly chats with her.
He realized that something was wrong. When the child was one year old, his friend asked him to come back and sleep with him. He always said that he would wait. Once a friend got angry and ordered her husband to come back to sleep. As a result, before he slept for a while, his husband either disliked his friend’s tossing and turning before he went to bed, which affected his sleep, or he kept nagging the child that he was too noisy to sleep. A friend’s heart was full of fire, and he blew up on the spot. The matter of sleeping in the same bed ended.
– 03 –
When it comes to sleeping with her, her mother’s situation will become more different.
Few children of one or two years old wake up all night. Some need to drink milk, some need to urinate, some cry for no reason. Some must hold up for at least ten minutes before they can put it down slowly. Some just put it down and cry immediately. Some need to eat their mother’s milk all the time to find comfort.
Often, after the children finally fall asleep, the mothers begin to lose sleep again… That’s how it comes to raising a child for three years.
If he sleeps in a separate room with his father, who also has half the parental responsibility, he may not see it, let alone feel it.
After all, there is no such thing as empathy in the world. If you haven’t slept with your children, you don’t know how tiring it is to sleep with them every night.
Some mothers said that women should be considerate of men. Working in the daytime is stressful. It’s really hard, and room allocation is normal.
However, have you ever thought about your own hard work? How much have you changed and sacrificed compared with yourself before giving birth?
Since you can do it, why can’t you make some changes in your husband’s life and make some sacrifices? Children will let us grow. You have learned to grow. Why doesn’t your husband learn to grow?
You can tell yourself that I can endure, I can sacrifice, and I want my husband to sleep well.
But can you tell your child that you only need the care of your mother, not your father?
Marriage is like a boat. It should have gone forward and retired together. Don’t always treat your husband as a child like your mother-in-law. He is neither a child nor a child. He needs to grow up for his family.
If you pay too much and take on everything, men will mistakenly think that children do not need their care, and that father only needs to make money.
– 04 –
Therefore, as for whether to sleep in separate rooms or not, Le Ma still suggests mothers not to sleep in separate rooms!
If the family has the conditions to hire a sister-in-law or a nanny, let the husband as much as possible to participate in the process of taking care of the children.
If only the elderly can help, then the husband needs to be accompanied! Although the elderly can help you take care of your children, they also need to rest!
In fact, every man should have experienced the hard work of bringing a baby, which is also the responsibility that a man should bear as the pillar of the family. Mother understands that father’s hard work is one thing, but can not be overindulged.
I hope we can all become a “ruthless” woman, and drag our husband into the troublesome mire of taking and coaxing babies, so that he can accompany you with your troubles and pains, and also let him accompany you to feel the happiness of raising children.
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Let’s talk about your family!
Do you sleep in separate rooms with your husband after giving birth?
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