“When others are busy with their work and striving for a better life, I am on the road of looking for children;
When other people’s family were laughing and laughing at the dinner table, I was eating instant noodles in a small hotel;
When other people’s life is getting better and better, I keep borrowing money from all my relatives and friends to find my son
In the past 15 years, I have experienced too much bitterness and pain, and I don’t know how to describe it. “
This is a paragraph in Shen Junliang’s microblog, which makes people feel sad.
From 28 to 43, the best 15 years of his life, he was on the road to finding children.
Fortunately, he finally found his son. On the evening of March 7, under the arrangement of the police, he met his son, who had been separated for 15 years.
“I owe you 15 years of fatherly love. Please let my father spend the rest of his life to make it up to you,” he said
However, while netizens are happy for him, they are also worried about him
“A 15-year-old child is in a rebellious period. Can he accept this sudden father’s love?”
“Children are also a psychological handicap.”
“It’s hard to go in the future. After all, I’m not around all the time and it’s troublesome to educate.”
Some netizens said optimistically:
“His father has not given up looking for him for so many years. I believe he must be moved at this moment.”
“Although it takes a little time to get familiar with it, after all, blood is thicker than water. Everything is not a problem. Everything will get better.”
We can’t predict what will happen next. There are too many things in 15 years, which can’t be explained in a few words.
Some people say that human traffickers are the greatest evil in the world, because every crime can instantly “kill” at least three people (one child, two parents) and break a family.
That’s true.
01
Their life trajectory changed from then on
I remember Huang Jian, the prototype of Zeng Shuai in the movie “lost alone”, was abducted from Chongqing to Fujian when he was 4.5 years old.
He never forgot the memory of his hometown, such as his mother’s appearance, his father who loved to be a wooden stool, his relatives who had broken their palms, the bridge in his hometown, and the mulberry tree in front of his door
And his real name: Huang Jian. He kept it in his mind for 21 years.
From the moment he was abducted and sold, he tried his best to keep these memories, just to go back one day.
21 years later. He can’t understand his hometown dialect any more, and he feels familiar and strange.
But he is not used to living with his parents. The better they treat him, the more he wants to avoid him.
In fact, he loved his parents very much. When he was a child, he was afraid that if he died, he would not see his parents. When he grew up, he worried that his parents would grow old and would not see them.
He was content to see them and know they were alive. He still wants to live in Fujian because he is used to everything there.
He said that he would not go to see the movie “lost alone” because some experiences are hidden in his heart. It is better not to recall the painful past.
He hated the traffickers and kept that face in mind. Later, I saw in the police station that the trafficker was over 70 years old, which was totally different from the ferocious look of that year, and was also punished by the law.
However, his life has changed. Hate is useless.
The life rewritten by human traffickers is a foregone conclusion.
Among the abducted children, Huang Jian is lucky to grow up healthily and recognize his parents.
Some of the abducted children lost their lives before they found a buyer.
Some of them are abused by the buyers and can’t see any hope.
Some grow up safely, but never see their parents.
From the moment of abduction, the child’s life trajectory has been changed, and it is difficult to recover.
02
The child lost the meaning of life after being abducted
In order to find his son, Shen Junliang gave up his high paid management job, sold his house and goods, spent all his savings and owed hundreds of thousands of debts.
After his wife and child were robbed, he suffered from schizophrenia, which has not yet been cured.
Jiaxin, another child abducted in the “Mei Yi” case, her father committed suicide in despair on the way to find her son, and her mother remarried. Later, the child found it, and there was no home.
After the girl Luo Changmei was abducted, her mother became insane, her father broke up and ran around, hoping to find her daughter.
Just because the child was abducted, a good home was destroyed. Like them, there are many families destroyed by traffickers.
Children are the love of their parents.
Even if I fell and suffered some skin injuries, my parents would be very distressed.
Suddenly lost, parents’ heart is like a needle bayonet cut. That kind of pain, people can’t bear to imagine.
Originally warm and happy home, no sunshine from now on. For the rest of my life, there is only endless searching and waiting.
Fortunately, we can find the child and know that the child is alive and healthy.
Unfortunately, he is still suffering on the way to find his son. Even if there is no hope, he can’t stop looking for him.
If the child is not found for a day, the parents will not be able to have peace for a day.
As Zhang Baoyan, the founder of “baby home”, said, “only when parents who have lost their children are on the way to find their children, can they feel an explanation for their children and a trace of peace of mind.”
They are worried that their children are no longer in the world, and they are also worried that they will be abused. The information spread on the Internet about the state of abducted children is always stinging their nerves.
If they can’t find their children back, they can’t feel the meaning of living. The remorse and guilt of losing their children make some parents give up their work, career, life and even themselves.
The moment a child is abducted, parents lose the meaning of life.
03
After the reunion, there is still a long way to go
It’s not the fairy tale that says “from then on, the whole family will live happily together.”
They have a long way to go, and it’s also a hard road.
A counselor once told a story about a boy from Sichuan who was abducted and sold to Hebei Province when he was 4 years old. His parents’ family conditions were very poor. When he was a teenager, the boy went out to work and supported himself by repairing his car.
The boy always wanted to find his parents. When he found them, he was 26 years old. He eagerly bought a ticket and went back to his parents’ home.
His parents had their own business. The family was very kind to the boy. He didn’t adapt to the work in his own business, so he opened a garage for him.
However, boys always feel unable to adapt to the life here. He also found that his living habits and family culture were incompatible with those of his biological parents.
He wants to stay with his biological parents, but he often misses his adoptive parents.
Relevant survey results show that most of the abducted children who return home after adulthood will choose to return to their adoptive parents or live alone. There are also many problems for the abducted children who have not yet returned.
Some netizens share that my sister was abducted when she was one year old and was 10 years old when she was found back. A few days after I went home, I complained that I was not used to the life here.
The differences in eating habits, travel modes, language and other aspects make my sister unable to adapt. She clamors to go back to her adoptive parents.
Parents are very tangled, let sister back to foster parents home, equal to lose her again. However, if she is not allowed to return, she is not happy here, and other people are also very tired.
Some netizens claimed that he was a child who had been abducted and sold. He was abducted at the age of 2 and recovered by his biological parents at the age of 12.
Although his parents are very fond of him, he still finds it difficult to adapt and feels like a guest at his parents’ home.
It’s also an embarrassing problem that it’s better to have parents than to have parents. The longer they are abducted, the more difficult it is to reintegrate into the original family.
The attitude of the original family towards the adoptive parents is also very contradictory.
Shen Junliang said: “they have raised and raised their children for 15 years. Without their support, the children may not grow so big. From this point of view, I think I should be grateful to him. However, the 15 years that he raised his children are the 15 years that my whole family suffered a lot, and also the 15 years that we are on the verge of collapse. In these 15 years, most of me are on the road of looking for children, and the 15 years have wasted me The whole family, my whole family, is gone. “
This 15 years of suffering is full of bitterness. The time thrown on the road of finding children will never come back.
I don’t know how much time it will take to repair the family affection isolated by time and the intimacy blocked by space.
In any case, I wish the Shen Junliang family a happy reunion. May they regard the reunion as a new chapter and cherish each other.
I also hope that the parents whose children have been abducted can meet again and get what they want.
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