In the recently popular TV drama “Settling Down”, Hai Qing played Gong Beibei, a gynecologist with a high educational background.
It is such a knowledgeable obstetrician who, after giving birth to a second child, inevitably has disagreements with her mother-in-law due to parenting issues, leading to family conflicts.
Amidst the increasing intensification of family conflicts, Gong Beibei wanted to buy a house and move out to live alone. However, she unexpectedly had an argument with her husband Liu Sili while visiting the house. Faced with her husband’s questioning of her, Gong Beibei made a soulful comeback.
You don’t have anything to say to me when you go home now. Every day you come home, you ask those few questions: how was the boss in kindergarten today, did the second brother have a bad breath, and did your parents have high blood pressure.
I’m your wife, I’m not a nanny, you’re not looking for someone to make do with you. To be honest, delivery, errands, and nannies have all contributed more to this family than you.
I don’t want to have a second child. You let me have a second child. I gave birth to two children, and you don’t care about anything. You haven’t changed a diaper, and you can’t use diapers until now.
Gong Beibei’s words of rejecting her husband resonated with many women. In reality, many women, like Gong Beibei, are also experiencing this “widowed” marriage.
01
Recently, a friend of mine talked to me about her married life and felt very sad. They said that since giving birth to a child, almost everything revolves around the child.
Every night in the middle of the night, the child wakes up crying and needs to get up to breastfeed, change the urine, and get some sleep, which makes him physically and mentally exhausted. Every day at home is filled with daily necessities, and the so-called poetry and distance no longer exist.
When I heard such roast from my friends, I asked: You work so hard every day. Don’t your husband help take care of the children? There was only a sigh coming from the other end of the phone, which made me feel the exhaustion and helplessness of a mother taking care of her child alone.
In many families, women become both mothers and fathers during the parenting process, and the husband becomes a decoration. The father’s participation in the child’s growth is minimal, and the child can be held as a toy at most twice a day, or asked a few questions like Gong Beibei’s husband to show concern for the child.
02
As the saying goes, ‘raising or not teaching is the fault of the father.’ In the process of a child’s growth, it is necessary for the father to participate. Raising a child is not only the mother’s responsibility, but also the father’s responsibility. Moreover, the father’s participation in raising a child has many benefits for the child’s growth.
Firstly, during the parenting process, the father’s companionship makes the child’s personality more outgoing
Research has shown that if a family only has a father or mother to take care of their children, the children will have personality defects as they grow up, and those who only have a mother will have more introverted and insecure personalities.
Children who grow up with their parents will have a more confident personality because most dads are more outgoing than their mothers. Children who have been exposed to their dads for a long time will naturally be infected by their dads’ personalities, and their personalities will also be more optimistic and outgoing.
Secondly, the involvement of fathers in parenting can enhance their children’s adaptability
Dads usually don’t take care of their children like mothers do, but precisely because dads don’t treat things as meticulously as mothers, they don’t handle things properly, and instead give children the opportunity to figure out ways to handle things and do things themselves. It not only exercises children’s independence but also cultivates their sense of responsibility, allowing them to not shrink back in the face of difficulties and face them bravely.
Thirdly, fathers can promote children’s gender awareness
For boys, the masculinity that fathers possess can make them more like men and make them more responsible in their growth.
For girls, the companionship of their fathers can help them know how to get along with the opposite sex, and the masculinity of fathers can make girls feel more secure and trustworthy.
So, in the process of accompanying children’s growth, fathers are an essential role. Since men are also parents, they must take on their own responsibility and work together with their wives to raise children and ensure their healthy growth.
Comments are closed.