When you communicate with your child, do you often feel that “a bull’s head is not a horse’s mouth”, and you originally care about your child, but he does not appreciate it; I want to say something intimate, but I find that the child is absent-minded… In fact, the child is selective in communicating with his parents. If you can’t open his heart, naturally you can’t communicate with him correctly, and good words may not play a good role.

Skill 1: care about words and speak succinctly

Scenarios and assumptions

1. You send your child to school. Before you go out, you tell him: “Lele, be careful on the road, wait for the green light when crossing the road, don’t talk to strangers casually. If you encounter any difficulties, remember to call the police…” but your child doesn’t look up: “Mom, you are so annoying. You talk about this every day!”

2. You went to school to pick up your daughter home. On the way, you asked her with concern while wiping her sweat: “Miao Miao, are you obedient at school? Have you been bullied? Do you remember the homework assigned by the teacher?” As a result, the daughter’s answer to you was: “Mom, my ears are going to cocoon!”

Facts and results

In this kind of communication, you are more and more unable to understand the child: why does this child hate me more and more? In fact, every child yearns for the care and caress of his parents, but his “little adult” consciousness often makes him appear unwilling to accept, especially dislikes the parents’ “chasing and beating” questions and endless preaching.

● this should be done

A clever mother once asked her son before he went to school: “what should I pay attention to on the way?” The son replied happily and proudly, “pay attention to safety!” It can be seen that parents’ simple and concise instructions will be more effective for caring.

Skill 2: knowing words and expressing feelings

Scenarios and assumptions

1. You have been busy for a whole day, and you have to drag your tired body to cook when you get home, but your 5-year-old daughter can’t do an arithmetic problem, so she came to ask you for help. You’re very upset, but hold your temper and say “intimate words” to her: “sweetie, mom is busy now. You can do your homework later. Please be considerate of mom, ah!” As a result, my daughter went to watch cartoons, and you forgot about it later. When she woke up the next morning, she found that her homework had not been finished. She cried loudly and refused to go to school.

2. You found that your son has been in a bad mood for the past two days and has been depressed all day. So you asked your husband to talk to him and communicate with him. However, your 6-year-old son lost his temper and said that his father violated his privacy. You and your husband are looking at each other, unable to do anything.

Facts and results

Parents put down their posture and wanted to talk to their children. As a result, they found that the distance between them and their children was getting farther and farther. What’s going on? In fact, it’s not surprising that as the little guy grows up, you will find that his inner secret


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