Mom: “Hurry up and eat
Child: “No, I don’t eat
Mom: “Hurry up and go to bed
Child: “No, I don’t sleep
After saying it many times but still not listening, my mother became extremely angry and started shouting, “Are you eating or sleeping
It can be imagined that children are either scared by their mother’s loud shouting and have to reluctantly obey, or they are useless and even confront their mother.
In a family with children, I believe it’s not unfamiliar. How many parents always have to “roar” for the sake of their children to listen?
Today, Fan Ma shared an American dad’s killer trick, which is to make disobedient children laugh and do things with just one move. This method is actually not new, but when children are disobedient or mischievous, parents also try this method, which may have a good effect.
James is the father of a 5-year-old boy named Tom in a small town in the eastern United States. His sharing at the international parenting exchange conference received countless applause. In the eyes of his neighbors, he is a lively and patient good father.
One day, James and his wife rushed out to take Tom to their neighbor’s house to help take care of him. But little Tom refused to change clothes for no reason.
At this moment, James kissed Little Tom and said, “Dear, I understand it’s troublesome for you to change clothes, but you shouldn’t want to appear in front of Sister Ruth (the neighbor’s granddaughter, Tom’s” little lover “) like a dirty cat. Do you want to wear blue or red clothes today, or do you want to wear robots or kangaroos
Little Tom: “I like kangaroos
James: That’s great. I really like the way you look in kangaroo patterned clothes. It looks lively and interesting
Little Tom: “Okay, I’m going to wear a kangaroo pattern.” He immediately put on his clothes with great joy.
So, Mom and Little Tom had a tug of war for half an hour, which was easily resolved by Dad. Not only did it solve the conflict, but it also made the child happy to take the initiative.
After dinner, James’ wife Anne brought out a peeled apple and inserted a piece for Little Tom to eat. However, Little Tom began to “defend” the human rights he had recently studied in school, protesting with his mouth covered: “I have the right not to eat apples! You have violated my right to choose.” He refused to eat the fruit his mother handed him for several days.
Mom is very angry. Eating fruits is good for her health, but she doesn’t know how to deal with stubborn little Tom.
At this moment, James peeled a banana, washed some grapes, peeled a pear, and even peeled a kiwi. He cut the back end and presented it to Little Tom and his wife.
James said, “Of course Little Tom has the right. Mom and I both agree! So now you have the right to choose to eat apples, bananas, grapes, or pears? Or a combination of an apple and a grape
Little Tom, who was still pouting, quickly smiled and smiled when he heard his father’s words. He inserted his fork into an apple or banana while saying, “I make my own decisions, don’t let my mother interfere
When children are disobedient, it’s really not easy to do well. Sometimes when they get angry, they will shout and even beat and scold the children.
When we are angry, we actually treat our children as imaginary enemies. If we want to control our children, they will definitely resist and oppose adults. In this case, we cannot fundamentally solve the problem, but instead, we will make our children imitate us and develop the habit of shouting at us. This not only damages the parent-child relationship, makes the children unwilling to cooperate, but also makes it difficult for them to respect their parents, making it difficult for parent-child education to continue.
The method used by James mentioned above actually has a professional term called “nonviolent communication”.
The essence of this method is to respect and not deny children, first identify with their thoughts and actions, eliminate their psychological resistance, and then let the child make decisions within the control of the adult, rather than forcing the child to do things according to the adult’s ideas, in order to resolve parent-child conflicts.
Each child’s personality is different, and the problems faced by parents are also different. However, respect and nonviolence are always the basic principles that we should adhere to in parent-child communication. For example:
Don’t eat – I understand that you may not be very hungry now, but eating is necessary. Eating well is essential for good health and for doing other things. Do you want to play hide and seek after dinner or do you want to wash the dishes yourself? (Not eating is responsible)
Not sleeping – I agree that sleeping may reduce some fun, but it is sleep that gives you strength and allows you to grow taller. Do you want to lie in bed and listen to Mom tell a story or Dad tell a story? (Feeling incredibly sweet and tired with my dad)
Of course, the above sharing is only a reference method. I believe many parents have their own tips in the process of fighting wits and bravery with their children. Please leave a message to share~