In the era of material abundance, we can provide children with more and more choices: countless toys, endless clothes, endless food… However, will children’s happiness be even happier because of more choices?
1、 No! The more choices you make, the less happy your child may be
In a certain park, a little boy was quietly swinging when he saw that there was no one on the slide next to him. He ran over to play with the slide and then looked at the child playing on the seesaw walking away. The little boy quickly abandoned the slide and rushed towards the seesaw
At this moment, another little girl came to play on the swing. When the little boy saw it, he quickly got off the seesaw and charged towards the swing, not letting the little girl play. The little girl refused, and the little boy gave her a push. The little boy’s mother was extremely angry and said, “Eating from the bowl and looking at the pot, is there someone as greedy as you?” The little boy cried out loud!
In fact, the little boy is not greedy, and when there are many choices, it is difficult for the child to obtain 100% happiness from these choices.
For example, while swinging, the child may be thinking, ‘Wait a minute, I’m going to play on the slide.’. When I was playing on the slide, I saw the seesaw and started thinking about it again. Finally, seeing someone playing on the swing, the child suddenly remembered the beauty of the swing again: “I won’t play on the seesaw anymore, I want to swing
Numerous choices distract children’s attention, to the extent that their happiness is compromised and their sense of happiness is reduced.
If a child doesn’t have so many things to choose from and can only play on swings or slides, then no matter what they are playing with, they can fully enjoy the joy.
2、 The more choices a child has, the lower their focus may be
Choosing more can also bring about a downside, which is that children’s concentration will be lower.
Psychologist Barry Schwartz once conducted an experiment like this:
In the study, he randomly divided children into two groups to draw. The first group of children can choose one of the three brushes, while the second group can choose one of the 24 brushes. As a result, the works of the second group of children were much worse than those of the first group.
Subsequently, the researchers asked the children to choose their favorite pen from among them, and then tried to persuade them to give up this pen and choose another gift. As a result, the children in the second group were more likely to give up their chosen pen.
We often think that the more material we provide our children, the happier they will be, but in reality, the opposite is often true! Too many choices can actually make children lose track of what they like the most, and they may not know how to cherish it after receiving it.
3、 What should parents do to avoid excessive selection?
1. Not many, not many toys, just right
Excessive toys not only easily distract children, but also hinder their intellectual development.
So, how many toys should children be provided with?
Virginia scholars in the United States believe that there should be five.
The reason is that when there are fewer than 5 toys, children may develop a sense of inferiority; But if the number exceeds 5, children are prone to distraction and also limit their creativity.
Toys are not many, not many. Children can focus on their favorite toys within a range of choices, repeatedly research, ponder, and think, creating various new ways of playing. Only then can the value of toys be maximized.
Some mothers may have to struggle, what are the 5 good toys to keep for their children?
During the process of children’s growth, these types of toys can be considered classic and most meaningful for their growth——
1) Assembled toys (building blocks, snowflakes): simple in style and versatile in gameplay, suitable for both young and young children to play with;
2) Sports toys (small balls, carts): In addition to being fun, they can also promote children’s motor development;
3) Graffiti toys (brushes, colored paper): Every child is the most outstanding painter, able to unleash their infinite imagination;
4) Plush toys (dolls, teddy bears): will be given life by children, the initial playmate of childhood;
5) Music toys: (toy drums, toy pianos): Let children listen carefully to different sounds.
2. Don’t be too greedy for too many clothes, as being small and refined is the best choice
If you are a mother who loves to be a black sheep and has no resistance to beautiful children’s clothing, and the clothes at home have piled up in a mountain, you still cannot help but buy and buy clothes for your child. So, when you see clothes full of wardrobes and cluttered rooms, do you feel too impulsive and irrational?
A psychologist in Japan once suggested:
Children over 4 years old do not need more than 5 sets of clothing per season, or even fewer, which can fully meet their needs; At the same time, the number of shoes provided to children should not exceed 3 pairs (including home slippers), and the number of hats should not exceed 1.
Perhaps some mothers will say, “My child is still young, 5 sets are not enough
So, as little as possible, it should be simplified as much as possible to meet practical needs.
Especially when it comes to buying too many clothes for children just because they are greedy for cheap, looking at a pile of cheap, low-quality clothes at home can really drive you crazy.
A tidy room allows children to focus more on playing and exploring. Living in a space filled with clothes and toys is more likely to make people feel bored and depressed, and emotions can also be affected, making them more prone to irritability and lack of patience. (Follow the WeChat subscription account: Duo Mama’s Parent-child Time to chat about parent-child parenting)
[Drawing inferences from one example]
More leads to confusion, and less leads to clarity. In addition to toys and clothes, we should also follow the principle of “less but more refined” when providing other materials to children. Every item should be fully utilized and fully utilized, bringing more joy and satisfaction to children.