If you have a daughter, you must hope to meet a good man in the future, love her, and give her a happy and fulfilling life.
However, for our girls, choosing a spouse is not as simple as fate, but rather a manifestation of ability. This ability has been influenced by her family since she was born, and the most important person among them is her father. (Follow the WeChat subscription account: Duo Mama’s Parent-child Time to chat about parent-child parenting)
Meg Mick, an American medical doctor and internationally renowned expert on adolescent issues, pointed out:
For a girl, every man who enters her life will be compared by her to her father. Fathers can ensure that their daughters have correct and healthy sexual attitudes and guide them to make wise choices about sex.
Around us, it seems that there are always some girls who are always at a disadvantage in choosing a partner. You can’t tell if there are any problems with her in dealing with others, but when it comes to dating someone, she always looks away.
Duo Ma was a junior sister in college. In the eyes of others, she was gentle, virtuous, thoughtful, reasonable, and considerate. She was pursued by a large group of excellent boys of similar age, but she remained unmoved.
Surprisingly, during her internship, she fell in love with a married business client who was twenty years older than her, and this man’s image completely overturned everyone’s expectations: fat, bald, spitting, bloated, addicted to smoking and drinking
After several close friends learned about it, they advised my junior sister several times to think it over carefully.
My senior sister wept bitterly in front of everyone and told them, “You won’t understand my feelings. He is very mature and can give me guidance, advice, cherish me, love me… These other people can’t do it, no one has ever treated me like this
Later, an informed friend told us that her junior sister’s father had left her and her mother when she was three years old. From adolescence until now, she couldn’t help but fall in love with a man who was much older than her. If this man treated her like a daughter and hurt her, it would even prick her and make her trapped, making it difficult for her to escape.
In the growth of her daughter, the father was the earliest to let her understand what love is, and this psychological influence is irreplaceable.
Girls who have an excessive desire for fatherly love will ultimately go all out to find a replacement role for their father when searching for a partner, rather than establishing a healthy sexual relationship.
Looking at some other girls around us, although they are not plagued by the lack of fatherly love, they always appear awkward and unsure when interacting with men, lacking confidence, and even unsure of what kind of partner they really want.
If you don’t want your daughter to suffer like this in the future, then tell her father to try to do the following three things in her early childhood.
1. Give your daughter high-quality companionship, don’t let father’s love be absent
The Yale University Children’s Research Center has found that at eight weeks old, a baby can distinguish whether the person interacting with him/her is male or female.
So, a baby who is only 2 months old is already learning how to get along with both genders. Don’t think, ‘My daughter is still young, she can’t remember anything, it’s the same whether she accompanies or not.’; Or “A little baby only needs someone to take care of her food, drink, and salad, and only needs adult companionship when she grows up
The father is the first male that a daughter comes into contact with, and it will have a huge impact on the daughter, even more so than the son.
At the same time, research has shown that young girls who have a close relationship with their fathers and are learning to walk are better at problem-solving, more confident, and less anxious in front of strangers.
Girls who have lacked fatherly love since childhood are often more likely to have early love and engage in sexual activity as they grow up, and they are more likely to misjudge when choosing a partner, which means they are more likely to encounter scumbags.
2. Don’t be stingy with your affirmation of her
There are many girls around us who, after getting married, realize that they don’t love each other as much as they do when they are in love. They exclaim, “Men are different before and after marriage. When looking for a husband, you need to shine your eyes. Don’t be blinded by the fleeting romance
Why are girls blinded by temporary romance? The important reason is that they have never been treated so favorably by the opposite sex, so much so that when others say a little sweet words, they mistakenly believe that this love is truly touching.
And those girls who have been favored by their fathers since childhood have long received full love, affirmation, and recognition from their fathers, so they will not desperately seek recognition and recognition from other members of the opposite sex. Her father’s love taught her what a man who truly loves her should be like.
3. Respect and love your wife
There was once a video like this:
An old father went to visit his married daughter, and it happened that the daughter had just returned home from work. However, before the two parents could have a good word to say, the daughter began to be busy, cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, washing clothes, comforting the children… while the son-in-law leisurely sat by playing computer and watching TV. The father loves his daughter very much, but he can’t say anything. Isn’t the son-in-law the person he was when he was young?
A person’s view on marriage is greatly influenced by their original family. If the father is too masculine and believes that it is natural for women to take care of their children’s household chores, then the child is likely to take it all seriously and replicate this pattern in a systematic manner in the future without any complaints. Because in her opinion, this is normal marriage and family life, and women’s family status should have been so low.
If you don’t want your daughter to be bullied by male chauvinistic husbands in the future, then the father must first show her how a good man and husband should treat their wife. (Follow the WeChat subscription account: Duo Mama’s Parent-child Time to chat about parent-child parenting)
In this way, it can not only make your current family happier, but also make your daughter happier in the future.