Parents want their children to be smart and obedient, but they want them to be independent and independent, rather than listen to adults like puppets. When I was a child, I felt that my parents could save a lot of worry for their children’s obedience, but when they grow up, parents will inevitably worry about their future. There are reasons for children’s lack of self-determination, which can also be corrected.

1. The reasons for children’s lack of self-determination

1. Excessive intervention

When a child grows up, he will be exposed to many strangers and strange things, which are his tests. Since childhood, parents are used to doing things for their children. Subconsciously, they think that the child has not experienced it, so they help them make decisions. They deprive their children of the opportunity to judge and act again and again. How can they have their own opinions if their judgment and action are not exercised?

2. Too much negation

When children encounter new things, they will be at a loss. Parents should not demand their children’s behavior and values, and they should not blindly deny their children’s practices. They should not deny their children’s practices because they feel that their children’s practices are immature. You have to look at things from the child’s point of view, encourage him to make decisions, and be the guidance and backing of the child. When the child does not do that well, give the correct guidance, let the child get the opportunity of exercise and progress.

How to cultivate children’s opinions

1. Give children the opportunity to exercise

The child was born with no self-care ability, but he was learning, speaking, walking and communicating with others. Parents should give their children the opportunity to exercise, let them participate in the collective life, communicate with peers and make friends. When children encounter difficulties, do not rush to help, but encourage them to think quietly and deal with them in their own way. Encourage them when they are right and correct them when they are wrong.

2. Results and processes are equally important

The result is the best way to show the effect of children’s doing things. However, as a parent, they should not attach too much importance to the results, but should pay attention to the process of children’s moving towards the results. For example, the child runs slowly, but he doesn’t give up halfway, but goes to the end step by step. At this time, parents should give him support and praise, rather than lose in the results. When the encouraged child next time, he will work harder, and the result will be better.

3. Give children opportunities to express themselves

A child is also a member of the family. Even if his idea is not mature, he can be involved in family affairs and give him the opportunity to express his opinions. For example, in the supermarket, he can choose daily necessities and tell him why he chooses XX goods. This not only expresses the child’s preferences, but also exercises his thinking and speaking ability.

4. Cultivate children’s ability to question

Only by questioning can we get better development. Parents should be patient with their children’s queries. Because of experience, children’s queries are too common in the eyes of parents, but children don’t know why. At this time, parents should actively answer the child’s questions, encourage him to express his own opinions, and guide him to divergent thinking, multi-dimensional and multi-dimensional thinking.

Assertiveness is a valuable ability, which is not born, but needs to be exercised in the process of life. Parents should create more exercise opportunities and encourage their children to become more independent and independent from various challenges.


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