It’s not easy to be a mother. No matter how gentle a mother is, there must be times when she is angry with her children. When you are faced with a child who makes you crazy, it’s useless to say anything or not. Your reason may have flown around the earth many times. In fact, it doesn’t help to lose your temper. The more you yell at your child, the more he wants to wring it with you. How can he listen to his children? Mothers with high EQ talk to their children in this way:

I know you

“I know you don’t like watching this program, let’s change it?”

“I know you want to eat snacks, but you can’t eat any more after eating them. Mom made your favorite meatballs today.”

If you want to have a peaceful conversation with your child, you should try to understand the feelings of the child and think about it from the perspective of the child, so that you can really communicate with the child, rather than preach in an imperative tone, and deny the child’s views so that they can accept your views. Mothers express their emotions for their children, which can help them better understand their emotions and make them feel understood. (pay attention to wechat subscription number: mother duo’s parent-child time, talk about parent-child parenting)

I feel

“I feel very happy, because the baby has eaten all the vegetables obediently today.”

Mothers should express their emotions and reasons to their children, so that they can understand different emotions better and learn how to express their emotions in the right language.

Retell the child’s words

“Mom, I want to wear that Ultraman dress.”

“Oh, the baby wants to wear that Ottoman dress.”

Retelling children’s words can let children know that adults have heard and understand their needs. Otherwise, the baby will always pester you to answer him repeatedly. It is more effective to retell the child’s words directly than to answer “OK, I know”.

I think you are a Because of you

“I think you are a brave child, because someone misunderstood your friend, and you stood up to defend him.”

Praising children often will make them more confident. But praise should also pay attention to methods. It has no effect to apply praise words to children in a general way. We should praise his specific behavior and let children know the reason for being praised. Such praise can play a role.

You’re a hard-working kid

“I think you are a hard-working child. You have practiced so many days. Although you didn’t make it to the finals this time, you can definitely do it next time.”

It is better to praise children’s efforts than their cleverness. Often saying “you are smart” to children will make them subconsciously behave smarter. Once they fail, they will doubt themselves: I am not smart at all, which will make them feel painful. When you say “you really work hard” to your children, they will think that success is due to their own efforts. If they fail, it means that they are not working hard enough, so they will be more focused on solving problems.

It’s dangerous to do this, mom’s worried

“Don’t put your baby’s head in the middle of the railing, will you? It’s very dangerous. Mom is worried.”

Babies don’t have enough awareness of danger. They often do things that frighten adults. If you are very fierce to him at this time, it may play a role, but it will scare the baby. When reminding children not to do dangerous things, mothers should let them know: mothers are worried about your safety, not limit you.

Mom doesn’t like you doing this I hope you can

“Mom doesn’t like you running around in the supermarket, which will disturb others. I hope you can follow her well.”

When a child makes a mistake, an adult should criticize and correct it in time, but not all the time: “I told you not to run around, did you hear me?” and “how can I deal with you if you look like this again” Such words are often counterproductive. To express strong dissatisfaction with a child’s behavior, you should directly say to the child, “I don’t like you to do this”, and then say what kind of change you want him to make, so that the child can know that his behavior is not welcome.

Do you want this or that?

“You can’t run around in the supermarket. You can either follow your mother or get in the car and decide which one to choose?” (pay attention to wechat subscription number: mother and child time, talk about parenting)

Adults like to make decisions for their children and think they are not sensible. Mothers with high EQ will let their children make their own choices, which can cultivate their ability to think independently. In addition, when a child makes a mistake, it is more effective to point out the remedy and let him make a choice than to preach directly.

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