3-6 years old is a rebellious period for children. During the rebellious period, children’s psychological and physical activity ability is enhanced, and they always want to get rid of the restraint of adults and constantly challenge the unknown bottom line. This kind of “rebellious” psychology and expression is an important symbol of the formation of independent personality and the growth of self-consciousness of children. In the rebellious period, children have the concept of “I” in their hearts, so long as they are properly guided to make rebellion a good thing.
>> Common manifestations of rebellious children
1. Without construction, love destroys:
Falling things, tearing toys, scribbling, tearing books, deliberately throwing toys all over the floor.
2. Irrational and irritable:
Stick to a particular thing, even if it looks the same.
Insist on wearing a certain dress and shoes, even if it does not conform to the season;
We must get what we want and do what we want, otherwise we will cry and make a scene.
Sit on the ground in public and beat people.
3. Singing the opposite tune, ignoring:
Parents are not willing to do what their parents ask, the more they are not allowed to do.
Ignoring parents, I would rather play by myself than with them.
4. Choose authority and attack the bottom line:
Deliberately breaking the rules previously laid down together;
There are endless new demands.
Talk to your parents about the conditions they need to meet before they are willing to do anything.
5. Conflict, easy to handle:
When playing with other children, they are fond of competing for the same toy, competing for the order, unwilling to share with others, and they are fond of robbing others, even hitting people in serious cases.
>> Four steps to deal with treason
1. Understanding the Reasons and Motivations of Children’s Behavior
Children spend a lot of time with their parents, and they are the closest to them. To understand their children’s inner needs, parents can’t pretend to be other people, and their bosom son is like you both.
Parents should pay attention to observation and communicate with their children. Parents should fully understand their children’s requirements of trying and acting independently, and create as many conditions as possible so that their children’s requirements can be properly or fully met.
When you want to get angry, stop and see what your child really wants.
Every action of a child must project the real appeal of the child’s heart. In the course of class, parents often accuse their children of: what toilet to go to in class? Idealistic point of view, physiological needs must not be stifled, so my classroom, children to the toilet, we must go, we do not hold back.
Parents, before class, remind the child to drink proper water, and at the same time must ask him to go to the toilet, the child will go to the toilet in class? If you don’t want the child to fall, you will unconsciously remove the stone in front of him. (Attention is unconscious, helping to move is spoiling)
2. Principles should never be accommodated
The rebellious children are contradictory, constantly challenging the rules and constantly pursuing the rules. If the rules are confused, the child must lack a sense of security.
Parents should be prudent, scientific and stick to the rules.
Adherence: Once rules are made, they must be obeyed.
Careful science: Do not make rules that exceed children’s abilities, such as requiring children not to be distracted in class, etc.
We should focus on the big and the small. Apart from resolutely failing to do anything that endangers life and health, the rest encourage children to try. Most of the time, they are relaxed. The strict place resolutely says no.
Respect for children’s needs, sometimes they just need to act independently, such as dressing themselves and eating by themselves. Children should not be forbidden to do it because adults dislike trouble. ]
Adults have no bottom line, children are not good managers, distinguish the boundaries between rules and love, principle issues are not compromised, let love not become spoiled.
3. Skillfully guided by various methods
Children in rebellious period have many problems and situations. Parents should adopt different methods to guide them skillfully according to different situations. The countermeasures can be roughly divided into seven categories. Please use them flexibly:
Countermeasure 1: The aggressive method, using the children’s psychology of singing the opposite tune, want to do what the children do, they will not let the children do what.
Parents let their children eat, but children don’t. Parents can take aggressive measures to ask their children not to eat, but desperately ask for it.
Note: When using this method, the tone should be as real and calm as possible, and it should be adjusted according to the child’s mood. In addition, the opposite “you do XX” method is not effective.
Countermeasure 2: Cold treatment, pretending not to see.
[Example] Children throw things everywhere to attract their parents’attention, pretend not to see them, and continue to chat with their father. When the child sees that it does not produce the desired effect, it stops automatically.
Countermeasure 3: Give the problem to the child and let the child find a way to solve it.
[Example] When children eat apples, they deliberately throw the apple peel around, or refuse to throw it into the garbage can. Parents can wait until the apple is eaten and pretend to see it. They are shocked and ask their children: What’s wrong? Let the children think of ways. Most of the children will throw it into the garbage bin on their own initiative. Be careful not to ask who caused the mess.
Countermeasure 4: Pass forward message, tell the child what to do, don’t say what can’t be done.
[Example] The children scribbled and scribbled everywhere, messing up the walls. Then parents can tell their children to draw on the drawing board.
Attention: Don’t accuse your child of scribbling.
Countermeasure 5: Pull the triangle relationship, with the help of authority, tell the child how to do through the person whom the child particularly likes or admires.
[Example] It’s almost time to go to kindergarten for class, and it’s too late to go any further, but when children play in the park, they just don’t go. Press the cell phone and pretend that the kindergarten teacher calls you: the kindergarten teacher calls you to go to the kindergarten, and the child will get up and leave immediately.
Countermeasure 6: Exercise venting method, the more rebellious the energetic children are, through sports and play, make the children have outlets for their energies.
[Example] When children are at home, they have to eat snacks for a while, watch TV for a while, and do damage everywhere. They just refuse to play with each other. Take your child to a park or playground, or play some energy-consuming games with your child.
Countermeasure 7: Parents should teach by example and set an example for their children.
[Example] Kids love to beat people. They have beaten many children and even their families. In this case, if parents use “beating” to educate their children, it will only make them worse.
Teacher’s suggestion: These seven methods are to give you the trick of “three ways down”. The three ways up are ideas, the three ways down are technical work, parenting, must go up and down three ways, the combination of ideas and technology is too conceptual, it is easy to overlook the details of education; too detailed, it is easy to overlook the feelings of children. Use the next three routes and remember the situation.
4. Disposal of Negative Emotional Calmness
Never reason with a child when he is emotionally agitated.
When a child is crying, there are four steps to deal with emotions: holding the child or going to a quiet place, listening to the child crying quietly for a while, so that the child can be calm.
Help your child figure out why to cry, what kind of emotion, sadness or anger. For example: Brother won’t let you play with his toys. Are you sad or angry with him?
Express sympathy and understanding to your child, such as: I know how sad you are, and you can cry for a while when you are sad.
When the child is calm, come up with new ways to divert his attention, such as: Let’s play in the sand!